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64 Comments

  1. Bonnie Emmorey says:

    Sheila, your words of wisdom are greatly needed right now, and I pray that racial healing comes to our country.

    1. Thank you, Bonnie. I am optimistic. Focusing on what we have in common instead of what divides us opens dialogue and brings healing.

  2. Bonnie Emmorey says:

    Sheila, your words of wisdom are greatly needed right now, and I pray that racial healing comes to our country.

    1. Thank you, Bonnie. I am optimistic. Focusing on what we have in common instead of what divides us opens dialogue and brings healing.

  3. Oh Sheila, this is so good! I know not all whites are racist, but so many of us are simply ignorant of what you face every day … constantly judged based on the color of your skin. Thank you for addressing this in a healthy, biblical way … we need more voices like yours! THANK YOU!

    1. You’re welcomed, Athena. Being easily offended does not help the situation. Thanks for your thoughtful words and truth.

  4. Oh Sheila, this is so good! I know not all whites are racist, but so many of us are simply ignorant of what you face every day … constantly judged based on the color of your skin. Thank you for addressing this in a healthy, biblical way … we need more voices like yours! THANK YOU!

    1. You’re welcomed, Athena. Being easily offended does not help the situation. Thanks for your thoughtful words and truth.

  5. This is so beautiful. Thank you, Sheila, for sharing these words. Christians need this reminder to seek to do what Jesus did: lead with Love.

    1. Thank you, Susan. I have been humbled by how God is using my experiences to turn others toward Him.

  6. This is so beautiful. Thank you, Sheila, for sharing these words. Christians need this reminder to seek to do what Jesus did: lead with Love.

    1. Thank you, Susan. I have been humbled by how God is using my experiences to turn others toward Him.

  7. Sheila – Your words are helpful. I love your list of how to stand up against racism. We all need to do our part. I have been blinded far too long about racism and open to learning and being a part of the healing. Blessings, Maree

    1. Thank you, Maree. The beautiful thing about Christ is we can let go of the past and move forward in the commitment to do better. Amen?

  8. Sheila – Your words are helpful. I love your list of how to stand up against racism. We all need to do our part. I have been blinded far too long about racism and open to learning and being a part of the healing. Blessings, Maree

    1. Thank you, Maree. The beautiful thing about Christ is we can let go of the past and move forward in the commitment to do better. Amen?

  9. Sheila, this is no doubt the most important blog Speak Up Ministries will post this year. Thank you for your honesty, vulnerability, and for your willingness to help all of us to take action steps in the right direction. Have I mentioned how much we appreciate you?

    1. Laura Ciampa says:

      This is the best list I’ve seen so far… thank you for making sense. I can use this to change me…. in the right direction…

      1. Thanks you, Laura. I am humbled by how God is using my experience to help others.

    2. Thank you, Carol. I appreciate all you do in the realm of Christian writers, speakers and leaders. I have learned much at SpeakUp. One of the things I learned—through witnessing your show vulnerability in your own situation—is honest conversation and vulnerability help people understand and examine their own hearts in relation to their situations. People are afraid of what they don’t understand. When they understand, they are more likely to come alongside. I wanted to give people a window into my heart and offer a message of hope.

  10. Sheila, this is no doubt the most important blog Speak Up Ministries will post this year. Thank you for your honesty, vulnerability, and for your willingness to help all of us to take action steps in the right direction. Have I mentioned how much we appreciate you?

    1. Laura Ciampa says:

      This is the best list I’ve seen so far… thank you for making sense. I can use this to change me…. in the right direction…

      1. Thanks you, Laura. I am humbled by how God is using my experience to help others.

    2. Thank you, Carol. I appreciate all you do in the realm of Christian writers, speakers and leaders. I have learned much at SpeakUp. One of the things I learned—through witnessing your show vulnerability in your own situation—is honest conversation and vulnerability help people understand and examine their own hearts in relation to their situations. People are afraid of what they don’t understand. When they understand, they are more likely to come alongside. I wanted to give people a window into my heart and offer a message of hope.

  11. Love this, Sheila. Thankful for these practicals you have us – especially #1! YES – while we need to do a better job of listening to each other, what we most need is to listen to God. He is the One who produces lasting, heart change–starting with me.

    1. Thank you, Shannon. Christ-focused solutions are the only way we will heal this nation. My faith has been the motivating factor in my perspective and in what I have taught my children. There’s a fine balance between teaching them how to protect themselves while teaching them to love those they are protecting themselves from.

      1. True… I would love to hear more on this, and how you’ve found that balance as you parent!

  12. Love this, Sheila. Thankful for these practicals you have us – especially #1! YES – while we need to do a better job of listening to each other, what we most need is to listen to God. He is the One who produces lasting, heart change–starting with me.

    1. Thank you, Shannon. Christ-focused solutions are the only way we will heal this nation. My faith has been the motivating factor in my perspective and in what I have taught my children. There’s a fine balance between teaching them how to protect themselves while teaching them to love those they are protecting themselves from.

      1. True… I would love to hear more on this, and how you’ve found that balance as you parent!

  13. This is so good, thank your for sharing this with us. We have two adopted sons from Haiti and have seen first hand the pain and evil of racism. Your words speak hope to my weary soul this morning, thank you.

    1. Bless you, Julie. You have a unique task and perspective in this situation. I know your heart aches for your sons.

  14. This is so good, thank your for sharing this with us. We have two adopted sons from Haiti and have seen first hand the pain and evil of racism. Your words speak hope to my weary soul this morning, thank you.

    1. Bless you, Julie. You have a unique task and perspective in this situation. I know your heart aches for your sons.

  15. Sheila, I would hardly have believed what you said about being followed – and questioned – in stores, had not an amazing “light” black pastor I know shared how this happens to him. Keep sharing your experiences – it’s the only others will know – THE truth about what it is like to be “Black” in America.

    1. Joanne,

      You’re welcomed. While I shared painful stories to make a point, please understand I believe I live in the best country in the world and my good experiences as a Black American far outweigh my bad. Thank you for your caring heart.

  16. Sheila, I would hardly have believed what you said about being followed – and questioned – in stores, had not an amazing “light” black pastor I know shared how this happens to him. Keep sharing your experiences – it’s the only others will know – THE truth about what it is like to be “Black” in America.

    1. Joanne,

      You’re welcomed. While I shared painful stories to make a point, please understand I believe I live in the best country in the world and my good experiences as a Black American far outweigh my bad. Thank you for your caring heart.

  17. Sheri Hawley says:

    Thank you for your honest and clear message. I especially appreciate the suggested action steps.

  18. Sheri Hawley says:

    Thank you for your honest and clear message. I especially appreciate the suggested action steps.

  19. Sheila, you say to “Judge others by their character, not their color” but I am afraid white people are not allowed to do that when it comes to black people. I am not trying to be confrontational but: George Floyd was a repeat drug offender (5 arrests for drug related offenses) , a violent man who had (not that long ago) been in prison because he broke in to a pregnant woman’s house and put a gun to her belly. Now here a few years later he was once again high and “out of control” according to store workers who made a 911 call to the police. So, am I allowed to “judge him by his character” ???? Not according to today’s “rules”. Should he have died?? NO!!! Was his death “unjust, tragic and unnecessary.” I can agree with that, but am I to ignore his character and say that it had nothing to do with what happened to him??? IMO, it did play a part. Do I think it was ok for a police officer to put his knee on Floyd’s neck?? Absolutely NOT.

    So, what do I teach my “white” sons??? I taught them the same things you did … how to treat others, how to act with dignity, and how to speak confidently. Also to be careful, because sadly , no matter their character, they will be told that they are racist just because their skin in white…. and that they are where they are because of “white privilege”..NOT the FACT that they are where they are because of hard work and being of good character.

    I work in a public high school, and the vast majority of kids I get close to are black….I have several who call me “mom 2”. I have kept up with several of them after they have graduated, and just 2 days ago I ran in to the mom of one of my “babies” who was so excited to see me that she had to call her daughter that instant to tell her that we ran in to each other. She thanked me for being there for her daughter when the family was going through a hard time. We both cried as she called “our little girl” so we could talk. I love this young lady as if she were my own and I fought for her when she was treated horribly by a few very racist people. But we cannot “cure racism” by saying that all whites are racist (whether they realize it or not) instead of dealing with the people who ARE racist.

    1. Renee,

      Thank you for your heartfelt, well-thought out response.

      I appreciate your heart and hope you had a chance to read my letter to the end. If so, you understand I do not believe all (or even most) white people are racist. Race is a complex issue surrounded by hurt and history. There are no simple answers. We can start by unity in Christ, which crosses all cultural and racial barriers.

      It sounds like we have much in common. You have a big heart and have done a fine job raising your sons. We both have a deep love for our children and believe hard work and good moral character are important.

      I understand why the concept of “white privilege” may be troubling for you. I, too, have struggled with it.
      My view is not a common one. If you want to hear what I have to say on the subject, check out this panel discussion in which I address “white privilege.” Feel free to fast forward to the question on “white privilege.” https://vimeo.com/431127405

      It is my heart that we heal as a nation, leave the past in the past, and live in unity.

  20. Sheila, you say to “Judge others by their character, not their color” but I am afraid white people are not allowed to do that when it comes to black people. I am not trying to be confrontational but: George Floyd was a repeat drug offender (5 arrests for drug related offenses) , a violent man who had (not that long ago) been in prison because he broke in to a pregnant woman’s house and put a gun to her belly. Now here a few years later he was once again high and “out of control” according to store workers who made a 911 call to the police. So, am I allowed to “judge him by his character” ???? Not according to today’s “rules”. Should he have died?? NO!!! Was his death “unjust, tragic and unnecessary.” I can agree with that, but am I to ignore his character and say that it had nothing to do with what happened to him??? IMO, it did play a part. Do I think it was ok for a police officer to put his knee on Floyd’s neck?? Absolutely NOT.

    So, what do I teach my “white” sons??? I taught them the same things you did … how to treat others, how to act with dignity, and how to speak confidently. Also to be careful, because sadly , no matter their character, they will be told that they are racist just because their skin in white…. and that they are where they are because of “white privilege”..NOT the FACT that they are where they are because of hard work and being of good character.

    I work in a public high school, and the vast majority of kids I get close to are black….I have several who call me “mom 2”. I have kept up with several of them after they have graduated, and just 2 days ago I ran in to the mom of one of my “babies” who was so excited to see me that she had to call her daughter that instant to tell her that we ran in to each other. She thanked me for being there for her daughter when the family was going through a hard time. We both cried as she called “our little girl” so we could talk. I love this young lady as if she were my own and I fought for her when she was treated horribly by a few very racist people. But we cannot “cure racism” by saying that all whites are racist (whether they realize it or not) instead of dealing with the people who ARE racist.

    1. Renee,

      Thank you for your heartfelt, well-thought out response.

      I appreciate your heart and hope you had a chance to read my letter to the end. If so, you understand I do not believe all (or even most) white people are racist. Race is a complex issue surrounded by hurt and history. There are no simple answers. We can start by unity in Christ, which crosses all cultural and racial barriers.

      It sounds like we have much in common. You have a big heart and have done a fine job raising your sons. We both have a deep love for our children and believe hard work and good moral character are important.

      I understand why the concept of “white privilege” may be troubling for you. I, too, have struggled with it.
      My view is not a common one. If you want to hear what I have to say on the subject, check out this panel discussion in which I address “white privilege.” Feel free to fast forward to the question on “white privilege.” https://vimeo.com/431127405

      It is my heart that we heal as a nation, leave the past in the past, and live in unity.

  21. Marijane Jones says:

    Sheila, Thank you for your words of wisdom in this emotionally charged issue. As a white woman I have not had the experiences you have had but as a women in ministry I have experienced some discrimination which has been hard to deal with. However, it is nothing compared to yours. I was reading in Exodus about the issue of generational sin and trauma. We are the fourth generation from slavery and I believe God will bring healing to our nation through our generation. That is my prayer. Blessings to you and your family.

    1. Marijane,

      Thank you. Please don’t discount your experiences. Discrimination of any kind is hurtful. I, too, God will heal our land.

  22. Marijane Jones says:

    Sheila, Thank you for your words of wisdom in this emotionally charged issue. As a white woman I have not had the experiences you have had but as a women in ministry I have experienced some discrimination which has been hard to deal with. However, it is nothing compared to yours. I was reading in Exodus about the issue of generational sin and trauma. We are the fourth generation from slavery and I believe God will bring healing to our nation through our generation. That is my prayer. Blessings to you and your family.

    1. Marijane,

      Thank you. Please don’t discount your experiences. Discrimination of any kind is hurtful. I, too, God will heal our land.