Aim to Praise in Spite of Loss

The Thanksgiving turkey baked in the oven, sending its mouth-watering aroma up the open staircase as my three teens slept. The previous night my youngest daughter decorated the dining room table with our best lacey white tablecloth, blue dishes, crystal water goblets, silverware, and the Thanksgiving napkins. Last, she assigned seats, placing the miniature pinecone turkeys beside our plates, which held the orange name cards, guiding guests to their chairs. 

All of us have holiday memories we hold dear. Yet, life marches on and time stops for no one. We age. Our children do, too. And natural disasters can devastate families as we’ve seen from the losses experienced during the last two hurricanes. I write this to comfort you, as our homes or families always don’t mirror the picture-perfect holiday magazine, or even what we see flying across social media. Just the name of a holiday can cause the heart to wince with pain.

My reality is that I have an ongoing relationship with only one of my adult children. When children are raised in a home where covert emotional abuse is the daily diet, enmeshment occurs. The ripple devastation lingers long and hard. Yet I pray. We pray. 

So how do we make the most of our holidays when we lose a spouse or a child? What if life goes sideways with a health concern? We might experience abuse, a prison term, or a military separation. We might endure the living death of a divorce, or a home demolished from a hurricane. We work through our loss, of course. But what simple, yet hard step can we implement this holiday season?

We offer a sacrifice of praise to God. 

I know we might not feel thankful—oh I so know! That’s why it’s called a sacrifice. “He who offers a sacrifice of thanksgiving honors Me…” (Psalm 50:23 NASB). How do we start? We thank Him. We honor our Father!

 How do we put this into practical steps when our heart weeps? 

• We swing our feet out of bed and plant them on the floor as we lift our heart and words to our Lord. We do what the Bible says. We thank Him. 

• We can talk with Him. Start saying, Thank you, Lord.

• We thank Him we have breath. 

• We thank Him He woke us up.

• We thank Him He is always at work.

• We thank Him He has a plan.

This list reminds me of the verse, “To grant those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a disheartened spirit. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified” (Isaiah 61:3 NASB).

For a moment, envision a pure white shawl wrapped around your shoulders as a mantel of praise. 

Picture a headpiece in your hair like a silver garland, as if God is giving you something beautiful, instead of ashes.

State what you’re grateful for out loud.

• Thank Him for the people He has placed in your life today.

• Thank Him for your sweet memories.

• Thank Him for allowing you to become a wife, a mother, a daughter, aunt, or a sister, or a husband, father, son, uncle, or brother. 

• Thank Him for your roles. They are His gifts to you.

• Thank Him for each person you will miss over the holidays.

• Thank Him for all He is working out for your good.

• Thank Him that He heals broken hearts. 

• Thank Him for giving purpose to your life.

• Thank Him that you have heat, air-conditioning, lights, food, water, eyes to see, and ears to hear. 

• Thank Him for your hands. Lift them high as you praise our Lord.  Allow your heart to shift to “the oil of gladness instead of mourning…” 

When you experience joy, don’t be surprised when it’s followed by a burst of grief.  Practice the daily habit of flipping that thought to praise. Watch it shrink the “self-pity song” that wants to defeat you. 

 Wear “the mantle of praise, instead of a spirit of a disheartened spirit. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

Question:  What is one thing that you’re thankful for today? I look forward to reading your responses and to lifting you up in prayer.