Become God’s Human Comforters

We need to look only on our Facebook feeds or read our prayer emails from our church to know there are many people in the midst of grief and loss. Often we feel uncomfortable with grief and loss not knowing what to say or how to offer comfort. Therefore, we may do nothing, yet, that is not what Jesus did.

Every time Jesus had compassion on a person, he saw them, heard them, and He acted.  Just as He had compassion on me.

“No God, please, please, please not this!” I walked our property line and prayed as I mentally posted angels on each of the four corners. God responded with assurance: “For He will give His angels charge concerning you, To guard you in all your ways. They will bear you up in their hands, That you do not strike your foot against a stone” (Psalm 91:11-12 NASB). Over the next several months, those angels stood guard over and guided all who came and went from my home. 

Inside my yellow ranch-style house, during that frosty spring, I marched up and down the basement steps asking Jesus to take control, move in, and occupy every nook and cranny. When the temperatures warmed up, I ran laps around the house in early evening, praying and pleading with God, to remove “this cup.” My cup was the unexpected, unwanted, indescribable pain that crushed me when my husband faced me one day and said, “I don’t know if I am committed to our marriage.” 

I felt as if he had pulled out his biggest gun—the one he took on his African hunt that spring—and shot me through the heart. I wanted to scream, “NO, DON’T DO THIS!” 

But he ran away to his hideout an hour away.

What grief gut-punch have you pleaded with the Lord to remove from your life?

• A parent’s Alzheimer’s
• The wrong choices of a child or a grandchild
• Pending bankruptcy
• Divorce  
• Domestic violence
• Ongoing disappointment
• Illness
• Death of a loved one
• Pain 
• Anxiety
• Depression

Do you wonder how you can press on in the midst of loss, grief, pain, and/or unanswered questions?

First, recognize it takes time to work through grief and loss. T-I-M-E!

Second, honesty is a must as God already knows the conditions of our heart. Learning to wrestle anger and angst out by holding nothing back from a Holy God may be uncomfortable. Yet, to heal we must be real.

I wanted my emotional pain to go away and be healed—to feel-well-inside-with-no-ache. No pretense. When I didn’t sense His presence, I spit out my anger, disappointment, hatred and yuck, still knowing and believing, fact over feelings, that God was at work. No matter what I see or feel, God is always at work. Even in the silence of abandonment, God met me. 

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NASB). 

So how does Jesus offer comfort? 

Jesus sees people. ^“For the eyes of the Lord roam throughout the earth, so that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His …” ( 2 Chronicles 16:9a NASB) He acknowledges our presence. 

Be on the watch for His nearness.

It’s honoring to a soul to be seen. Noticed. Acknowledged. Your presence matters. Jesus sees. Jesus sees me. Jesus sees you. Believe this Truth. ^“And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day” (Genesis 1:31 NASB).  God saw all that He had made. That means us.  

During grief and loss, it’s how we choose to respond to grief that is the key. 

Believe He sees you regardless of what you are feeling. Jesus is our role model for grief, He shows us how to be comforted and to comfort. And as a leader, a speaker, or a writer, we can offer comfort as our Lord did. 

Think of those you see on your Facebook and Instagram feeds. Stop, and tell them you are sorry for their pain, their loss, and pray for them.

Offer these simple “First Aid Comfort Tips.”

• Look at the person that is grieving, face the person.

• Let your eyes acknowledge that you see them. 

• Let your eyes connect, send love, give light, speak.

• Focus on the hurting one with undivided attention.

• Eyes care by focusing on one with undivided attention.

• Learn to sit in quietness. Be comfortable with silence. Relax.

• You cannot remove or fix their pain. Don’t try.

• Do not talk a lot. Please hear me. A grieved or traumatized person is numb, raw, and sometimes can barely sit upright. Just be there. 

• Become God’s human comforter. 

When loss, grief, and pain enter your life, allow Jesus to do His comforting work in you as you wrestle with your pain, and in time, surrender your cup to His will. In His love, offer His comfort to those who are hurting and recycle your pain to purpose. 

Are you in the midst of grief? Read more from Darlene’s soon-to-be-released book, Leading You Through the Valley, a personalized grief-loss coaching book.

Question:  What are you grieving in the middle of your current circumstances?  (Darlene would love to pray for you.)