The Last Conversation

“Emma, please hurry, or we’ll be late!” I said in a firm tone to my youngest of twelve, who has Down syndrome. Transitions can be difficult for her, and pushing her only slows her down. 

Irritated, I stepped out the front door and slid into the car. My conscience whispered, Pam, what if that’s your last conversation with Emma? Would you regret it?

Earlier that morning, I had prayed for a local family who lost their twenty-six-year-old son in a single-vehicle accident. My heart ached for their loss and the long valley of grief ahead. That reminder of life’s fragility followed me into my morning—right into my usual rush of responsibilities, and I was running late.

Though I’m the mother of twelve and “Zaza” to almost forty grands, you’d think I’d have mastered time management by now. My husband has an internal clock that runs early; mine seems to have been replaced with a “just one more thing” gene. I’m always trying to fit ten pounds into a five-pound bag.

While impatiently waiting for Emma, I recalled a story that stopped me cold years ago. On the early morning of October 13, 2016, a twenty-four-year-old lost control of his pickup truck while speeding down a road in Lakeland, Florida. His truck crashed through the home of Jan and Rev. Wyatt Folds, longtime residents who were beginning their day with devotions and prayer.

At 4:48 a.m., Jan stepped into the guest bedroom when the truck barreled through the wall. She was killed instantly. Her husband, just feet away, narrowly survived. One heartbeat earlier she was standing in her home; the next, she was standing before her Savior.

In The Cost of Discipleship, Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes, “When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.” Those words remind me that following Jesus isn’t predictable or safe. It’s a daily surrender of control, comfort, and time.

Jan had no idea her next breath would be in eternity, nor do I. Yet I imagine she spent a lifetime preparing—walking with God in the ordinary rhythms of faithfulness, mornings of prayer, acts of kindness, and years of loving her husband—until one morning, the Lord said, “Come home.”

As I reflected on her story, I thought of my hurried morning with Emma and my irritated tone. I can be so focused on getting things done that I forget how I speak to those who are most important to me. 

Living “on time” for God isn’t about clocks or calendars. It’s about surrendering our hearts, attitudes, words, and actions toward others, even in pressured moments.

How will I use my words? Whether preparing a keynote message or pushing kids out the door, my speech can carry Heaven’s echo or reveal my frustration. I wonder what Jan and her husband’s last words to each other were that morning. What was the final conversation between my friend and her son? Maybe something as simple as, “I’ll be right back,” or “See you tomorrow.” 

We have no idea how sacred our words become.

Later that day, I picked up a bag of all-purpose flour and noticed the small print: “Ideal for cakes, cookies, bread, and more.” I thought of Emma, my tone, and the small moments shaping my comments. Even on “all-purpose days,” our words can serve an eternal purpose—encouraging others and living out the Good News.

We never know when a conversation will be our last. That truth slows me down and reminds me to let the Holy Spirit shape my words—to speak life and grace and leave behind the kind of love that lingers long after the words are gone.

May it be true of me, as the psalmist prayed:

“May these words of my mouth and this meditation

 of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my

 Rock and my Redeemer.”   Psalm 19:14 (NIV)

Think of these ABC’s before you speak:

A — Affirm the other person.
Check your attitude, tone, facial expression, and body language.
Ask: “Would I want these words to be my last ones remembered?”

B — Breathe deeply to slow down.
Be thoughtful and aware of the posture of your heart.
Ask: “Am I breathing life into this moment or am I reacting?”

C — Choose the right words.
Remember: Jesus is the listener beside you. Choose words that build.
Ask: “Would I say this if I could see Jesus listening beside me?”

S — Speak with heaven’s echo.
Whisper Psalm 19:14 aloud. When you speak with gentleness, you invite calm, safety, and the peace of Christ into the space.

Say instead with a smile on my face:
“Emma, thank you for getting ready for work. I do need you to move to the car so we’re on time!”

Question:  Who in your life needs to hear some encouraging words from you this week, and what’s one thing you could say to them?

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