Unlocking the Secrets to Strong Friendships

Over the last several years, I’ve noticed that my circle of girlfriends has gotten smaller. In our twenties, we celebrated big events, including milestone birthdays, weddings, baby showers and graduations; however, as time passed the meetups happened less often, the phone calls were few and far between, and the support just seemed to have disappeared.

These changes led me to examine my life and acknowledge my part in why these relationship dynamics were different from what I was accustomed to. What I found was that I needed to consistently be compassionate, be kind and considerate, give grace, and show up for others like I wanted them to show up for me.

God never intended for us to do life alone. As a matter of fact, we’re encouraged to build community and fellowship with other believers. We are to be approachable and dependable. The Bible gently instructs us: 

“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

Human interaction is essential, and we need each other to survive.

Here are three ways we can practice being friendly:

1. Bear one another’s burdens.

In this life we will experience trials and tribulations. Be vulnerable and talk about the frustrations and opposition you’re facing with your loved ones; they are genuinely concerned about you and want to support in any way they can. Be there for one another. Galatians 6:2 declares, “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”

2. Live in harmony with others.

As much as possible, we are to live in unity with one another. Disagreements happen; however, we must try our best to reach resolutions and live in peace with our loved ones. Romans 12:16 reminds us to, “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.”

3. Practice the fruits of the spirit.

Galatians 5:22-23 tells us “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”  Every day won’t be a good day, and we will experience challenges; yet we are still able to be Christlike and be examples for those who don’t know Jesus.

Final Challenge

Ask yourself these questions:

• If you were to describe yourself to others, which words would you use? 
• Do you see yourself as friendly? 
• Are you helpful? 
• Do you practice self-control? 
• Are you honest? 

The truth:  We go through various stages in life and our personalities change as we get more mature. We may have been one way in our younger years, but as we’ve developed a closer relationship with the Lord, our views of who we are as a person and other peoples’ opinions of us may have changed for the better over time.

The challenge: Practice being more friendly and continue to be a light for others. Say hello to a stranger at the grocery store. Connect with an old friend. Sit by someone you don’t know at the next conference or workshop you attend. Give verbal flowers to someone who has inspired your journey. Invite someone to attend church service with you. Greet others with a smile. 

Remember—small gestures go a long way when it comes to developing friendships.

Question:  What friendly gesture will you exhibit this week? Share in the comments—I’d love to hear your heart.