The bright light from the 38 inch, curved-screen desktop monitor illuminated the space. It was more than enough light for my ten by eleven-foot room, but a small table lamp warmed the ambiance enough to make it welcoming.
After youth sports, evening snacks, and showers, we approached bedtime. The open office door invited my children to come in and join me. This was now our space and our time.
Before long I saw Daniel, who recently turned 10, playing with his toys on the floor, totally immersed in the moment. Dakota, almost 12, dove into decorating the dry erase board with color and pictures of joy. Images of a smiling girl and warm sunlight, a reflection of her world. All of us rest knowing that we are family. And it’s God’s Word that reveals the source of our rest.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” Matthew 7: 7-8 ESV
God opened His door to me long ago. My door wasn’t always open. Jesus doesn’t close doors to His family. Following years of running away from Him, my Heavenly Father made room for me.
Daniel and Dakota knocked on the door of my office. I made room for them. My space is now our space. My calendar includes Him and them.
“There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.” John 14:2-3 ESV
Daniel and Dakota are with me, where I am. We share the room. We share the moment. We share time. Each moment is a drop of delight in their love tank.
***
If you have ever struggled as a leader, writer or speaker over the balance needed to pursue your ministry goals and spending the necessary amount of time with your family and those closest to you, you are not alone.
Consider incorporating these principles into your regular routine:
T — Temperature (How warm is your personal “Truth Meter?”)
Once a Marine, always one, the Truth rattles around in my stubborn jarhead, and with any luck, it lands on my heart. Better still, it unlocks my heart. On too many occasions my life has been filled with deadlines, meetings, budgets, planning, writing, email, and interruptions—but God is challenging me to be intentional about sharing His Truth with my family, my business associates, my co-workers, and my friends.
I — Integrate your family into your work and ministry life.
My friend, author and speaker Carol Kent, tells of how she had her young son draw images of the Bible stories she was teaching in her weekly study. She shared them with her class every week. Her husband and son accompanied her when she spoke at camp retreats and conference centers, enjoying the outdoor activities, but also looking in on some of the main sessions where they saw women saying “Yes” to Jesus. They understood the value of the ministry as they interacted with participants and saw changed lives.
M — Manage your schedule before it controls you.
As you prepare your annual calendar, look at the full year. Fill in holidays, family birthdays, anniversaries, traditions, weddings, and vacations before you fill in major deadlines for writing assignments, podcast recordings, message preparation for speaking engagements, blogs, and more. Plan for a day or a week of rest or fun following a major deadline—something you and your family can look forward to.
E — Evaluate your choices. Ask yourself these questions:
- What room in my house needs to have an open door more often?
- Where does my heart need softening?
- Is there a loved one (or two) with whom I can initiate a closer relationship?
- Who do I need to listen to, have fun with, or connect with because I care about them more than I care about my work?
As I was reading scripture, this verse jumped out at me:
“For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people.” Jer. 31:33 ESV
The Lord says, “…those days… on their hearts…” Those days are now. The Truth is here. Is my heart open to His Truth or is the door closed? While doing His work, have I made space and time for my precious family? Have I left my calendar open to enough flexibility that I can honor Him with my choices?
God spells love, T.I.M.E.
Question: How have you made time in your busy life and ministry to include your family? I look forward to reading your comments.
About Jerry Howard
Jerry Howard is a Christian executive mentor, author, and speaker who owns multiple businesses. A veteran of the United States Marine Corps, he is the founder and guiding force behind iNTREPiD iMPACT Team, a faith driven leadership and business consulting agency. Jerry loves being a part of God’s Special Forces by bringing faith to the marketplace, the nation’s largest mission field. For more information and to connect with Jerry, go to www.JerryHowardInternational.com.
Thank you, this has been most helpful.
My life has been turned upside down and inside out. My husband was diagnosed with Major Neuro Cognitive Dementia. He is no longer able to work, drive or be alone.
I have found myself becoming frustrated and longing for time to myself.
I appreciate your words, they have caused a shift in my perspective about what time really means. This is a different way to see my new life.
Blessings
Hi Tammy, thank you for your feedback. I used to operate post acute and long term care centers. I learned that although we can’t “see” those with dementia, their spirit knows we are there. We feel betrayed by them and God at times and if we want time for ourselves, we feel like the betrayer. My prayer is that a peace which transcends all understanding will rest upon you and your family through this valley. Thank you again for your words and fortitude for your loved one. -J